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Rules of Conduct for Teachers

You will not marry during the term of your contract -

You are not to keep company with men -

You must be home between the hours of 8pm and 6am unless attending a school function -

You may not loiter downtown in ice cream stores -

You may not travel beyond the city limits unless you have the permission of the chairman of the board -

You may not ride in a carriage or automobile with a man unless he is your father or brother -

You may not smoke cigarettes -

You may not dress in bright colors -

You may, under no circumstances, dye your hair -

You must wear at least two petticoats -

Your dresses must not be shorter than 2" above the ankle -

You will keep the schoolroom neat and clean - sweep the floor at least twice daily - scrub the floor at least once a week - clean the blackboards once a day - start the fire at 7am so the room will be warm at 8am -

Cabell County, West Virginia
Board of Education - 1915
 

Rules for Teachers (1872)

Teachers each day will fill lamps, clean chimneys.

Each teacher will bring a bucket of water and a scuttle of coal for the day's session.

Make your pens carefully.  You may whittle nibs to the individual taste of the pupils.

Men teachers may take one evening each week for courting purposes, or two evenings a week if they go to church regularly.

After ten hours in school, the teacher may spend the remaining time reading the Bible or other good books.

Women teachers who marry or engage in unseemly conduct will be dismissed.

Every teacher should lay aside from each pay a goodly sum of his earnings for his benefit during his declining years so that he will not become a burden on society.

Any teacher who smokes, uses liquor in any form, frequents pool or public halls, or gets shaved in a barber shop will give good reason to suspect his worth, intention, integrity, and honesty.

The teacher who performs his labor faithfully and without fault for five years will be given an increase of twenty-five cents per week in his pay, providing the Board of Education approves.

Log Cabin School House
Strawberry, Arizona

Remember when our grandparents, great-grandparents, and such stated that they only had an 8th grade education?  Well, check this out.  Could many (any?) of us have passed the 8th grade in1895?  This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina, KS. USA.  It was taken from the original document on file at the Smokey Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina, KS and reprinted by the Salina Journal.

8th Grade Final Exam, Salina, KS - 1895

Grammar (Time, 1 hour)

1. Give nine rules for the use of Capital Letters.
2. Name the Parts of Speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define Verse, Stanza, and Paragraph.
4. What are the Principal Parts of a verb?  Give Principal Parts of do, lie, lay and run.
5. Define Case, Illustrate each Case.
6. What is Punctuation?  Give rules for principal marks of Punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time, 1.25 hours)

1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide.  How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50 cents/bushel, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?
4. District No. 33 has a valuation of $35,000.  What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per meter?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance around which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)

1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607; 1620; 1800; 1849; 1865

Orthography (Time, 1 hour)

1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic, orthography,
etymology, syllabication?
2. What are elementary sounds?  How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: Trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, and linguals?
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e'.  Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling.  Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: Bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: Card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences, cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, 1 hour)

1. What is climate?  Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3. Of what use are rivers?  Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America.
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Heca, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fermandez, Aspinwall, and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.
7. Name all the republics of Europe and give capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth.  Give the inclination of the earth.

Gives the saying "she/he only had an 8th grade education" (when speaking of an early 20th century person) a whole new meaning.

Contributed by Larry Dase, CPA

Message on the School Answering Machine:
 
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school.  In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all options before making a selection:"
  • To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
  • To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2
  • To complain about what we do - Press 3
  • To cuss out staff members - Press 4
  • To ask why you didn't get needed information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you - Press 5
  • If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
  • If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
  • To request another teacher for the third time this year - Press 8
  • To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
  • To complain about school lunches - Press 0
  • If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's NOT the teacher's fault for your child(ren)'s lack of effort - HANG UP and HAVE A NICE DAY!!!"

Contributed by Greg Donovan, Peoria Dist

 

History of teaching math:

 Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his  profit?

Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.  Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?  Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees?  There are no wrong answers.

Teaching Match in 2000: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is $120.  How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60?

 

Don't you just love it when teachers good intentions go amuck!!!

An elementary school class started a class project to make a planter to take home to their parents. They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants.

The students were given greenware pottery planters in the shape of a clown which they painted with glaze.  The clown planters were professionally fired at a class outing so they could see the process.

It was great fun.

They planted cactus seeds in the finished planters and they grew nicely, but unfortunately the children were not allowed to take them home.

The cactus plants were removed and a small ivy replaced them and the children were then allowed to take them home instead.

The teacher said cactus seemed like a good idea at the time!!

 

Test (Be advised, it's risqué.)

First-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students.  The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"  Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade.  My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is!  I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" 

Ms. Brooks had had enough.  She took Harry to the principal's office.  While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.  The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave.  She agreed. 

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. 

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9" Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36" 

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade." 

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."  The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"  Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What do you have in your pants that I do not have in mine?"  The principal wondered, "why does she ask such a question?"  Harry replied: "Pockets."  

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"  Harry: "Pants" 

Ms. Brooks: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"  Harry: "Coconut"  

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"  The principal's eyes open really wide ... Harry: "Bubble gum"  

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" The principal's eyes opened really, really wide ... Harry: "Shake hands" 

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?" Harry: "Firetruck" 

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong."